DAY 4: DECISION MAKING

Welcome to day 4, and congratulations for making it this far! Today we’re talking about one of the most amazing things I ever learned to do after healing from codependency: making decisions.

One symptom of codependency is seeking and depending on the approval and permission of others in order to make decisions in your life and commit to them once you’ve made them. Today’s lesson Take ownership of your life instead of living in pursuit of outside permission and approval. You can and you must.

The best news I have for you is that you have NEVER needed anyone else’s opinion or approval in order to make decisions for your own life. The questions below will help you release your attachment to the perspectives of other and begin to live a self-directed life, full of clarity and freedom, and free of guilt and rumination over what everyone else thinks.

The Work:

1. Is there a decision that you have been avoiding making? Why?

2. What would you need in order to make that decision with the confidence that you want?

3. Is there something you want to get from someone else like approval, permission, or advice before you feel secure enough to make the decision?

4. What would you need to do in order to give all of those things to yourself?

5. Any of the permission or approval that you THINK you need to get from others can be found within yourself. What step can you take today in order to provide yourself with these things? Write this step down, do it, and keep doing this work whenever you struggle to make a decision in the future.

6. Be kind to yourself before, during, and after you approach the decision making process. Making decisions can bring up a lot of anxiety, fear, and insecurity—just know that the presence of these emotions doesn’t actually mean you shouldn’t be making this decision. There is a good kind of fear that comes up when you’re taking steps towards big things that you want in your life, and this fear is something to lean into instead of avoid. You’ve got this!

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Stay tuned for Day 5 tomorrow where I’ll help you release your need to control others in order to feel okay within your own life. This is powerful work. See you there!

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If you’d like some free 1:1 guidance about anything we covered in this lesson, click the button below to schedule some time with me.